


So, you think you can parent? (DISCONTINUED)

by Mathytaffy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Komaeda’s dead, Multi, Not exactly death because he’s alrwady dead but, Other, Possible smut, lovechild au, teruteru and Sonia are hoes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-07-12 01:08:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 10,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15984353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mathytaffy/pseuds/Mathytaffy
Summary: Teruteru and Sonia are hoes, Amami don’t know who the dad is, and Amami’s son is basically Kokichi with green hair. Enjoy.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Suffer

“Could you please, for once, stop eating junk and eat what I made?”

“Why should I? I don’t want it. I hate lasagna anyway!”

“Jackie…” Teruteru looked over to his husband, a look that was practically begging for help with the kid.

And so, said husband huffed out a stressed sigh, fluffing Teruteru’s hair before looking down at the young boy.

But, before he could speak, another person piped up. “Jackie, if you don’t eat, you’ll starve, you know! You haven’t eaten anything other than string cheese and roast asparagus in weeks.”

“Shut up! You can’t tell me what to do! Stupid, bossy Cunt-o!” The young boy stuck his tongue out, before running out of the room and to the kitchen instead.

Hajime looked at him, a stern look on his face when he did, shouting a “Don’t cuss,” as he left. But, he shifted his glance towards the short boy soon after, the glare turning into a more loving gaze.

Teruteru looked almost like a hurt mother, when you tell them you don’t like what they made. Really, that’s what he was in this family- the mother, sweet and caring, stay-at-home, et cetera. He even let his adult son stay with them. Which Jackie hated.

“I still like your food, dad, Jackie’s just…” Kinto laughed, a hand combing through his hair.

And so the four ate. Teru, Hajime, and Kinto in the dining room, but Jackie upstairs-- filling up on a stash of raw veggies and cheese.

...hm.

I think that’s enough of the Hinatas.

“Mother. Please allow me to. It...it has been a long time since I’ve spent any time with him. You let Milo do as he pleases. Why not me?”

And Sonia stayed quiet. Until a moment later. “I cannot trust that he won’t do something unspeakable to you. I’d rather you not. It’s not because I dislike him, only his-“

“His what? His father? Mother, his father is not single. His father does not want to hurt me!”

“You know that is not who I am talking about!”

“His other father? He’s dead, mom! He can’t hurt me from the grave, nor did he purposefully hurt me while he was alive, and you know the reason why it happened when he did anyway! Truly, you are taking longer to get over him than--”

“...I will speak with father instead.” Tears welled up at the girl’s eyes, as she walked away, her heels clicking on the floor as she did.

…

Maybe another family is doing better.

“Yo! Yoooo!” The tall boy waved his hand above his head, as he approached the shore on his sailboat. On the river he sailed, now approaching the dock where his father stood.

His father was none other than Rantaro Amami, who smiled and waved as his son approached. The younger of the two jumped off the boat, tying it to the anchor, before rushing over to his dad and hugging him.

“Katsuo, how was the trip? Do you need a new binder? I know last time your’s got stretched out, and I wouldn’t want that to happen again.”

“Nope, nope! But, I wanted to show you something I got. One of the reasons I was gone for so long, actually!” He backed up, tugging off the blazer he wore, then unbuttoning the shirt beneath. “Check it out!”

Two scars on his chest. He got top surgery while he was away.

And Rantaro gave a proud grin.

“You paid for it all by yourself?” He asked, which Katsuo replied to with a thrilled grin.

“Yep, yep! Isn’t it super cool? I got Gokuhara-senpai to help out some.”

“U-um, Gokuhara, like, Gonta? Or…”

“No, no, no! Nagata, his...um…” Katsuo tapped his chin, before shaking his head. “Did anything happen while I was gone? I missed a bunch.”

And to that, Amami replied with a smile. “Not much. But an old friend paid a visit, a few things happened, and he stayed awhile. He’s still at our house now, if you want to say hi.”

“Absolutely! Who is it? Ouma-niisan? Chabashira-sama? _Shinguuji-kun?_ Gokuhara-senpai said you really like him.”

Rantaro gave an anxious laugh at that, shaking his head and scratching his neck. “No, I- I’m not that kinda guy. I’m not really into relationships.”

“Oh yeah? How’d you have me then, hm? Hm? What’s the truth?” Katsuo poked his chest jokingly, grinning deviously.

“...you act so much like Kokichi. You should spend less time with him, aha…”

“Nooo!~ Ouma-niisan is so much fun to spend time with! His boyfriend is funny too! Me and him like to tease him!”

Rantaro gave a sigh, humored by his son. “Yeah, I don’t hear the end of it when Kiibo visits. ‘Control your son, Rantaro!’ He tells me. I think you having a role model is good though, even if it’s...him.”

And off to home they went.


	2. Everybody Loves Kinto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe booby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinto fuckin dies

_Smack, smack, smack, smack._

“Jackie…please stop...I need to do this…”

“No! You’re mean, and I hate you, so you’re not allowed to!” _Smack, smack, smack, smack._

“Jackie!” Hajime’s voice boomed, as he rushed down the stairs, and grabbed the short boy by his collar to pull him back. “Cut it out!” Kinto sucked out the door as Jackie was being shouted at, Teruteru rushing in to take pity on Jackie.

“Stop shouting! It’s not going to help! Jackie, don’t try to attack your brother anymore.” Teruteru’s discipline was completely ineffective.

Hajime didn’t let go of Jackie at first, but after looking at his husband's expression, shook his head and let go.

“...I’m sorry for yelling, Jackie, but you really shouldn’t do that to your brother.” Now, Hajime was a complete sucker for Teru. It was cute, at times, but was also a huge setback at others. Like this time, specifically.

Jackie took this chance to run upstairs, and into his room, Teruteru looking up sympathetically, before Hajime took Teru’s stray hand into his own.

“...why is Jackie so mean to Kinto, do you think?” Hajime asked coolly, bringing the shorter into the living room to sit him down. This would probably get him emotional, but...Hajime would survive.

“I...I don’t know...do you think it’s because...he…he knows?” The previous theory was correct. He grew incredibly emotional already, his bottom lip quivering, even though he was only asked one thing.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry.” His free hand lifted, pressing against the other boy’s cheek. “He doesn’t know. Don’t worry.”

“I- I’m sorry Hajime, I...I love you and all but, I keep thinking...back to…” tears welled up in his eyes, and he pushed himself forward to hug the other, with a strained squeak of something along the lines of, “you’re hot as fuck, which is what you should do to me.”

“...what don’t I know?”

“...”

“Ah, Jackie, we were talking about Kinto,” Teru lied, shifting his face to look over at the kid. “He’s...adopted “

“Oh, good. I‘m glad he’s not my brother! He doesn’t have dad-number-two’s hair anyway.” Jackie whistled, his hands folding behind his head, as he strided away cheerfully.

“...I want to go to sleep. Can we do that? We’re not too old to sleep during the day, right?” He laughed, a pensive expression coating his face despite his laughter. “Jackie can handle himself, right?”

Hajime only nodded with a soft huff. “Yeah, yeah, let’s go.” He was expecting Teru to flirt with him or something, but nothing was there. No flirts. All he got was his hand taken to lead him to their room.

And Jackie stayed downstairs, up until Kinto came home. Then he retreated to his bedroom.

Or, he tried to. Before he could--

_***Crash*** _

_“Jackie!!!”_


	3. How I Met Your Mother, Father, and Other Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia stop being a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor fukn hates her mom

“You allowed _Milo_ to go? But not _me?_ What is going through your head, mom?” Eleanor sobbed in an upset fashion,through clenched teeth.

“Yes. He’s much more responsible than you,” Sonia replied, scribbling down something on a piece of paper.

“He’s _ten!_ How is he possibly more responsible than me?”

“Age does not determine responsibility.”

“I am twenty-two, and I am still not allowed to have a boyfriend! What if I prefer women, mom? What if I want a girlfriend?”

“You aren’t allowed to date for a very valid reason!” Sonia slammed her hand down, snapping a clipboard, her face red.

“Oh what? Are you scared I will find a boyfriend as useless as Souda is to you?”

“Do not talk about him like that!”

“No offense to him, but all he does is cry! He just cries and nuts over you. You don’t even spend time with him!”

_“Shut up!_ Go to your room, and stop bitching!”

“Fine then! Maybe I’ll starve and die so you can live with the rest of your shitty family!” And before Sonia responded, she stomped away, kicking her door shut.

And Sonia didn’t pity her at all.

“Yellin’ at Ebony again?” A young boy piped up, giggling. “We don’t want her here as much as she doesn’t want to be here. Just let her go, dude.”

“Silence yourself at once,” the queen snapped, picking up the broken board. “Go spend time with your father. I am not in the mood for your foolishness.”

“Psh, whatever you say.” And off he went, shouting, “Da~d! I wanna hang out with you!~”

Said father screamed loudly. He did not want to hang out with the kid.


	4. Katsy in the Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katsuo is a fucking cultist?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Himiko be proud of him you bitch.

“Daaaad! Who is it! Who is it!” Katsuo bugged his father, poking his arm over and over, and hitting him with his hat jokingly.

 

“Kat, calm down, we’re almost there,” Amami retaliated, grabbing his son’s shoulder, and laughing with an anxious-ish look-- his eyebrows were furrowed, though the expression was...soft.

 

_“Hmmph!_ It’s taking too long! I want to know now! Tell me, tell me, tell me!~” He pouted, giving a fake-stressed groan, and crouching down a bit.

 

“We’re home already. Did you miss it any?”

 

“Nope, nope, too boring, you never do anything fun.” He pursed his lips, then pushing open the door with a gasp.

 

“Yonacchi!” He squeaked, running over to the girl, and pulling her into a hug.

 

“Hi, hi, hi! Has everything been good? Have you finally done as Atua foretold?”

 

“Yep, yep, look!” He pulled back, flipping open his shirt, and showing off his surgery.

 

“Ohh...!!! You did it! Both Atua and I are proud of you, yes, yes!” She clapped, Katsuo quickly following with clapping of his own.

 

“Heeey, are Yukkun and Juniper here? I wanna show ‘em!” 

 

“Indeed! Junie! Angel! Kacchi wants to show both of you something! Atua says to! And you  _ know  _ not to ignore Atua’s demands!” Angie shouted, her hands clasped with a cute giggle.

 

Juniper was Angie and Himiko’s daughter. Himiko, former Super-High-School-Level Magician, gave that title to her daughter. But that doesn’t matter.

 

The young girl ran out of a doorway, dragging her mother behind her.

 

“Katsy is back! Mom! Mom! Katsy!!!” As Himiko finally allowed herself to be pulled through, Juniper ran forward, forcing Katsuo into a hug. Not that he minded any.

 

“Juniper! I missed you! How’s it been? Have you gotten a boyfriend yet?” He laughed, softly petting her hair. “Kidding, kidding!”

 

Juniper pouted, stealing his hat and putting it on. “I don’t wanna boyfriend yet! I’m too young…”

 

“You do you~” He pushed the hat down, and twisted his hand, flipping it so that the brell of it was facing backwards.

 

He showed off his surgery to his friends, Juniper showing more enthusiasm than Himiko, but that’s only because...well, it’s Himiko.

 

Amami was quiet, though. It was odd, but no one noticed.

 

It was weird. What could he be thinking about...?


	5. C*R*A*S*H

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teruteru is fuckin depressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinto it's your fault

“Are they on the way? Are they close?”

 

“Can’t you get here faster?” Teruteru shouted into the receiver, teary-eyed and panicked, his heel tapping against the ground impatiently. Despite his salt-stained cheeks and eyes red from tears, he was absolutely enraged, his face a bright red. Angry, panicked, scared, and many more emotions coursed through him, each one getting worse and worse the more his heart pounded.

 

Blood was splattered the floor, surrounding where Kinto lay, Jackie standing to the side with a traumatized expression. A huge welt was on the older boy’s head, noticeable despite his endless curls of hair.

 

Hajime was knelt down in front of the adult, trying to feel around for the wound to patch it, but to no avail. He’d previously had to push the large chandelier that hung over the area away from his head, as that was what had fallen, but now, he was more focused on not letting his son die.

 

Soon, the trucks pulled up outside of the house, Hajime holding the tall kid in his arms to bring him out, and Teruteru told Jackie to go in the ambulance with his brother, him doing exactly that, leaving his parents behind.

 

Teruteru didn’t go, though. He seemed to be worked up over something. The sheer fact that the chandelier fell, hit Kinto, and almost killed him,

 

The circumstances,

 

It…

 

...reminded him of something he was trying to forget.

 

Hajime stayed behind too, telling Jackie not to worry, that they would be there soon. After pulling Teruteru into an understanding hug as the truck left, the short male broke down into uninterrupted sobs, though nuzzling close. “I-- I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We shouldn’t be leaving them alone.”

 

The story was, Jackie tried to abscond from the scene as Kinto arrived, but as the door opened, something caused the chandelier to fall, the young boy being beneath it. But Kinto, Kinto knew what was going to happen, so with a shout of his name, he pushed him out of the way, the chandelier falling on him instead.

 

Hajime silently accepted the apology, kneeling down to get closer to the shorter’s height, and pulling him into a kiss. Maybe to help him feel better, maybe otherwise, but...he was trying as hard as he could.

 

“I’m sorry, Hajime--” he sobbed again, his forehead softly touching Hajime’s.

 

“It isn’t your fault--”

 

“I jus’ can’t get over him, no matter what I do! I see him in Kinto, ev'rything he does, they’re jus’, jus’…” He could hardly form words, only choking and hacking up half-flirts due to his stress.

 

“Even jus' his hair, it’s…” A single hand ran through Hajime’s hair, stopping to run his fingers through a small amount near the top. But he wasn’t satisfied. At all. He sniffled, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s neck, and attempting to get that feel of...closeness.

 

In which Hajime willingly accepted. Arms wrapped around his waist, he lifted him up off the ground, an arm then tucking beneath him to keep him secure. It seemed like Hajime was okay with Teruteru not being able to get over whoever it was, but...in all actuality?

 

He hated it. He loved Teruteru, but he hated the fact that he just...couldn’t get over his ex, or...whatever they were to him.

  
Of course, _he_ knew who it was, but it’s not like that makes it any better.


	6. The Fresh Princess of Mickey-D's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor you're fucking gay in denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New kid eats too much, this is a serious situation smH

“Ella-onii, this is a bad idea…” A young boy piped up, biting into a burger, as he watched his sister tie a bunch of sheets together, to get out of the home, like as shown in movies.

 

“It’ll be okay,” Eleanor responded, tying the line up onto a bedframe, and hopping down. “Kinto invited me over, and I’m not saying no this time. You remember the plan, right?”

 

The jester gulped, but nodded. “Yeah, yeah.”

 

“Oooo! Emily and Miles are breaking the rules!~ I’m gonna tell Papa!~” A third kid piped up, the princess groaning, and Milo swallowing a startled scream. Despite not being related to Souda at all, he sure did act a lot like him.

 

“Fuck  _ off,  _ Azalea!” Eleanor leapt off the building, the bad luckster pulling up the makeshift ropes and untying them at record speed. He silently cursed his bad luck, and knew that he was in for the worst time of his life tonight. If ‘Papa’ actually believed Azalea, anyway.

 

Eleanor ran for her life, locating the train station and speeding off to the Hinata household as fast as the train could go.

 

And lucky for Milo, today, papa was Souda, and Souda was a pussy who did NOT know how to discipline.

 

But off Eleanor went. She knew the way to the Hinata household like the back of her hand, running over as quickly as possible.

 

“Ellie?” A mechanical voice piped up, having had appeared behind her.

 

“Wh-who the fuck--” Eleanor turned, then stumbling back, at the sight of a blonde robot, hovering above.

 

“Ellie! Daddy’s told me so much about you! You’re the princess, right? Right?”

 

“F-fuck off! I don’t *want* to be a fucking princess!”

 

“Java Ouma! I’m Java Ouma! Ouma’s my daddy’s last name, so I took it from him, since dad’s his human mate,” she exclaimed, before stopping in her tracks, her froggish smile falling. “...wait, you didn’t ask my name.”

 

“What kinda fuckin’ getup are you? You’ve gotta sugar daddy, you ain’t even--”

 

“No! Daddy’s not my sugar daddy! He’s my actual father. Sorta…” Her smile returned, eyes widening. “Wanna hear about how I was made?”

 

“Ew, no! I-- I want to go hang out with my friend.” She looked down, her eyes falling to the other girl’s chest, before drifting away, her cheeks turning red. “You can tag along, if you want. How do you even know me, anyway?”

 

“Your dad, he’s Gundam Tanaka, correct?” As Eleanor began to walk, Java hovered beside her.

 

“Correct. He calls himself the Supreme Leader of Isis, or some shit.”

 

“He cannot call himself a Supreme Leader, my daddy’s the best one there is.”

 

“How do you know father’s name?”

 

“Some kid with croissant hair, who’s daddy’s friend, um…Tearing...Tear...T-- Teruteru!” She nodded, looking down at Eleanor.

 

“Could you  _ please  _ stop calling your father ‘daddy?’ It’s...really, really weird for me. And...” her eyes slimmed suspiciously, cocking her head. “How do you know Teru? He couldn’t be able to see you that often. Are your parents not protective of you?”

 

“Mmm, not really. Daddy sometimes tells me not to make robots, because he doesn’t want a miniature version of dad. But that’s wrong, because when dad’s not home, I’ll hear vibrating coming from his room, and noises that sound like he’s crying.”

 

“Jesus, are you okay?”

 

“Yes? Why do you ask?”

 

But Eleanor didn’t reply, so Java just hovered as they walked. Nearing the home belonging to Teru and his family, with the android hovering behind her, she approached, but...to a sight she didn’t expect.

 

“Um-”

 

Teruteru sobbing, Hajime comforting him…

 

“Teruteru? Hajime?” Eleanor walked up the stairs to their porch, setting a sympathetic hand on the shorter’s shoulder.

 

Java floated up the stairs, her own hand going onto his back.

 

“...Eleanor?” Teruteru looked up anxiously, smiling at the girl, her simply nodding, and understanding the situation completely.

 

Well, sort of.

 

“Where’s Kinto? He invited me over earlier, so I came as fast as I could. It’s been awhile since I visited, and...”

 

“Hospital. We’re about to leave. Java, tell Kiibo and Kokichi that you’re--” Hajime tried to talk, but was immediately interrupted by the supercomputer speaking her own hand.

 

“They know already. Jackie told me. They can’t come, Kiibo is getting maintenance done and Kokichi wanted to be there with him through it. As if it was surgery. So, I came on my own!”

 

Teruteru was silent, simply nodding alongside his husband, and releasing him to walk to the car. But he sort of...continued to pull him, their hands locked.

 

“Can we stop by McDonald’s?” Java inquired, Eleanor slapping the side of her head. “Owie…!”

 

“My fucking friend is in the hospital, and fast food sucks. We’re not getting McDonald’s.” Eleanor’s face grew stern, though Hajime sighed, most likely planning on succumbing to the robotic girl, and stopping by a food place. Eleanor and Teruteru would give him backlash, Teruteru complaining about how ‘there was food at home!’, and Eleanor using the same reasoning.

  
So in the car they got, stopping by McDonald’s for Java, ending up with a happy robot, and Hajime getting lightly slapped by both Teruteru  _ and _ Eleanor. (The lighter of the two coming from a very pouty Teruteru, who took offense over the fact that ‘his food wasn’t good enough’ and that Hajime ‘felt the need to get cheap shit.’)


	7. Kat's Declassified School Survival Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEW KID NEW KID NEW KID

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo is called onii san by his kid! what heck kiyo

“Bye bye! Don’t forget to tell Atua every secret you withhold! And make sure to eat healthy!” Angie squealed, her girlfriend pulling her out by her hand.

 

“Goodbye, Yonacchi, Yukkun, Juniper. If you see Shinguuji-kun, tell him about this! But, uh, not Chabashira. I don’t want her to...er, you know how she is.” Katsuo sighed, resting his head on the doorway with a solemn look after they left.

 

“Dad? I noticed you didn’t talk with us, is everything okay?” Katsuo turned from his spot, looking at his father sympathetically, him just laughing nervously.

 

“Nothing’s wrong, don’t worry! I just wasn’t feeling the greatest. A little bit tired. In fact, I still am sort of-- so I’ll, I’ll go handle that right now, okay? If you want something to eat, there’s some leftover stew in the fridge, and if you want to go sailing again, if you plan on stopping by Kokichi’s house, Kiibo is getting maintenance, and...you know how he is when that happens. Java may be there, but…

 

“Actually, before you went, I...wanted to ask you about something. Shinguuji-kun usually gets super flustered around me, and it’s been getting worse and worse lately.” He pursed his lips as he spoke, finishing the sentence with a click of his tongue. “I know that you and him are close, and I’m...worried. For both him, Gonta, and Nagata.”

 

“Um-- Sorry, sorry, me and him, we haven’t spoken in awhile. Not because we’re growing less close, but…” He cleared his throat, inhaling, before shaking his head. “I can’t speak for Kiyo, you’ll have to talk to him yourself. But, I’m gonna go ahead and get some rest. Angie and Himiko are...night owls, to say the least.”

 

“They’re fuckin’?”

 

“U-uh, no, no. Angie stays up late doing...her thing, and Himiko’s just...practically nocturnal.” He shook his head, his face turning a deep red, before he left abruptly, telling his son goodnight, and heading to his room.

 

“Hmph. Whatever you say,” he mumbled, grabbing a piece of paper, and leaving a note, letting the older know that he was going upstream for awhile, and that he’d be back later in the day.

 

And off he went.

 

Upstream was a small villa, in which the trio of Katsuo’s friends lived together. And that’s where he was headed. He set off, the sound of the motorboat echoing off the dock as he sped off to the Gokuhara household.

 

It didn’t exactly take long for him to arrive, as it was moreso downstream than up, but we’re not going to get into that, since...well, long story short, he just went over to the home.

 

It was hardly even a day since he’d been to the villa, but he was back again, softly pushing open the door with his foot. “Gokuhara-senpai? Shinguuji-kun? Gokki? It’s me. I’m back, didja miss me?~”

 

An adult was the first to approach, long, blue hair falling to their mid-back. “Oh…! Katsuo! You’ve returned! Hi! Onii-san, Katsuo is here!” The second bit was shouted over their shoulder, a hand lifting to push their hair out of their eyes.

 

Korekiyo was the second to enter, bowing kindly at the kid, though he appeared distraught. “Hello, Katsuo, I apologize if you were here to see Gonta. He is not here currently, as he is visiting a friend.”

 

“Actually, I wanted to chat with you a bit. You seemed a bit off lately, and I was sorta anxious. Wouldn’t want my teach to feel upset, ya know?” He joked about Korekiyo’s interest in humanity, and his ability to go on for hours about how beautiful it was.

 

“...me? No, I am afraid you are mistaken. I am completely fine.” He nodded, though...his face told otherwise. But he interrupted his train of thought with, “Would you like some tea? There is some on the stove being prepared.”

 

“Hm? Tea? Sounds cool! But I still wanna chat with you about what’s up. I know you like the back of my dick, Gucci-kun.”

 

Nagata only giggled smugly. “You don’t _have_ one. How can you know him--”

 

_“I know you like the inside of my pussy, Gucci-kun!~”_ He said, a tinge of stressed humor in his voice. Though not exactly offended, just irritated.

 

“...A conversation over tea it is, then. Nagata, please do avoid us for awhile. I do not intend to share personal things with my child.” He seemed quite uncomfortable with the mentioning of ‘dicks’ and ‘pussies,’ so he was thrilled to have the subject changed while Nagata excused themselves.

 

“Heey, if ya want, we can head out on my boat, it’s hella calming on the water. You wanna do that?”

 

“...not particularly. I am much more comfortable in my own home.” He perked, as he heard the teapot begin to whistle, silently moving away from Katsuo, and into the kitchen instead.

 

“Tch, boring. The water’s nice. Dumb Gucci-kun.”


	8. Ellie The Bitchass Slayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime gets rekt XDXDXDDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eleanor is fucking wildin also jackie youre a cunt

Teruteru was turned away from his husband, a petty pout on his face, since he’d gotten ‘shitty junk food’ for himself. One of the reasons being obvious, the other because Hajime didn’t get him food. (Mainly because he refused to say what he wanted.)

 

Not that he was actually upset. He was feigning it, as he still had yet to get over his ‘rich, big-city chef’ persona. It’s not like Hajime hadn’t already learned that it was just a fragile facade that was broken easily.

 

Hell, it’d already begun breaking, as he reached over and took the food the taller had gotten for himself(which was just a burger), pulling off the paper, and taking a bite out of it, then handing it back, Hajime actually  _ taking  _ it back, as if it was a common occurrence.

 

Java herself, sitting in the back, leaned over, an arm stretching out to Eleanor’s burger, and whispering, “That could be us, but--”

 

“Shut up and let me eat my fucking food!” She pushed her away, hand pressing against the robot’s chest and shoving her away.

 

Her mind went straight to the gutter. She didn’t flush up, but she did think to herself--  _ “Jesus, she’s got a huge rack--” _ before noticing the issue with the entire thing. Well, the set of issues. The first one being,  _ “Hold on, robot’s have tits???” _

 

She turned her head confusedly, looking at the girl’s chest, just staring for a moment, before turning away, and staring at her food with a confused look, her mind stuck on various, confused forms of,  _ “Boobs?” _ As she continued to eat.

 

Java, though...she was distracted Teruteru and Hajime in the front seat, bickering quietly over the stolen food, which ended in them quickly making up, Hajime offering the rest of his food with a grunt, and Teruteru happily accepting it. She cooed quietly, as if the relationship they had was one she wanted to be in.

 

It was like everyone in the car had forgotten the reason for the trip. Until Eleanor shouted, “Can you guys stop being gay, and fucking drive? Kinto’s going to wind up dying if you guys don’t fucking step on the gas instead of each other’s dicks.”

 

...yeah, they were quick to shut up, but Teruteru stayed to the side, leaning on the side of the door with a grin, one that Hajime had to use every ounce of his self-control to ignore, as he continued to the hospital.

 

It was hard for this group to keep serious, even in dire times. But soon they drove up to the building, stepping forward to be greeted with Jackie, holding a fountain soda, and a cell phone, flipping through...something.

 

“Dad, why do you have Grindr?” Jackie held up the phone, revealing a shitty grindr screenshot, with a pickup line about eggs.

 

“Why aren’t you with your brother?” Teruteru snapped angrily, snatching the phone away, and swiping away from the photo.   
  
“Cuz he’s not my brother,” he replied, taking a sip quietly, and tilting his head. “Why--”

 

“Oh my god, Jackie, come on.” The short boy grabbed the other’s wrist, dragging him inside, and checking the group in to check up on Kinto.

 

_ Beep. Beep. _

 

_ Beep. Beep. _

 

_ Beep. Beep. _

 

_ Beep. Beep. _

 

_ Beep. Beep. _

 

“Was he really hit that hard?” Teruteru mumbled to the doctor, a worried look on his face, lip quivering as he fought back tears. “Is he gonna be ‘kay?”

 

“This is boring, I wanna go--”   
  


“Shut  _ up, _ ” said Eleanor, and Teruteru, and Hajime, all in perfect unison, though Java stayed quiet. She approached Kinto, putting her hands on his chest.

 

“Uh-- miss, please don’t-”

 

“I know what I’m doing.”

 

**_*Bzzt!*_ **


	9. My Life as a Teenage Supercomputer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hes alive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinto done fucked up

“Ouma-san, what the fuck are you doing?” Eleanor snapped, as the motionless body Java’d shocked flinched.

“Ngh...D-dad?” Kinto groaned, immediately choking up blood, then looking around, confusion striking his eyes as soon as he spotted Hajime. “U-um…” He turned to Teruteru, cocking his head as a way to ask, ‘who’s that?’

But not before Teruteru had shot forward, pulling him into a long, grateful hug.

“...dad? Who’s that…?” He willingly hugged the other boy back, but whispered to him as he did so. “Did Papa dye his hair and get it cut while I was asleep…?”

“No, aha…”

Eleanor’s rude face softened, and she stepped over, putting her hand on his shoulder sympathetically. “A lot happened. We’ll tell you about it later, okay?”

Suddenly, his face grew a bright red, and he turned to Hajime, attempting to stand, and shouting, “What the fuck did you do to Papa, you fucking bastard?? Do I have to fucking slaughter you, right where you stand? I’m going to fucking k--”

“Kinto!” Eleanor shouted back, grabbing his arm to pull him back down. The sudden shouting scared Teruteru, causing him to fall back into his husband, previously mentioned husband grabbing the other’s arm in fear.

Kinto grunted at Eleanor, pulling his arm away, before looking over to the couple. His face turned sad, showing a look of realization.

“Are you...cheating on Papa? With him?”

“No, stupid, you hit your head on a chandelier while being a dumbass.” Jackie added in, Kinto jumping back in surprise. He flung backwards, almost falling off the bed, Eleanor being the only thing preventing him from doing so.

Java had long left, plugging herself in to charge, though Kinto…

“Who are you??? Dad, what’s going on? Why are all these people here??” Kinto cried out, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. “I...I want Papa...I don’t care if you’re cheating on him with whoever that is...I want Papa…” He curled up in a ball on the bed, arms tucking under his knees.

“Kinto...I-- I’m sorry…”

“You’ve never called Hajime ‘Papa’ before, Cunt-o. What happened? Did the chandelier make you stupider than you were before?”

But Kinto didn’t answer. He just sniffled, curling up deeper into his legs. He may be able to handle Jackie’s shit normally, but...right now? He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t. He was panicked and confused.

Teruteru approached quietly, placing a hand on Kinto’s head, only for it to be slapped away.

“I don’t want to be touched by someone who has the heart to cheat on Papa. Especially considering all that he’s done for you, piece of shit.”

“He’s dead, Kinto.”

“...huh?”

Java was eating a sandwich, and had re-entered.

“He’s been dead. Fifteen years. You really forgot all about it?”

Teruteru’s hand was in Hajime’s, Teruteru failing to hold back tears, them dripping down his cheeks messily. He hated having this brought up. He hated talking about it.

And it was obvious Hajime hated it as well. He seemed upset at Kinto for bringing it up, but didn’t really...say, anything, about it. He just...silently, pulled Teru into a hug, kissing the top of his head, and trying to comfort him as best as he could.

It wasn’t working at all.

And Jackie? He was confused more than anyone. “Who the fuck is Papa?” He asked Kinto, a dirty, almost crude look crossing his face.

“He’s...he’s my dad…” He looked up, wiping his nose off on his shirt, then giggling a bit. “But uh, I guess he’s dead…?”

“What was his name?” Jackie asked, but Teruteru intervened with a yelp and a lunch forth.

But he couldn’t stop Kinto from saying it. “...Nagito...?”

And before anything more happened, just the name being said broke him down, him standing stiff and silent. Not even a breath.

“Teru?” He’d heard Hajime say, but the only thing that echoed through his mind was the voice of the deceased male. Or, his memory of it anyway.

Everything Hajime said, he heard in Nagito’s voice. He remembered it so well, but missed it so badly.

And soon, the attention was turned to the stiff boy, Hajime shaking him by the shoulders until he choked up a breath and a sob.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry,” He repeated, refusing to stop, even as his husband spoke.

“I’m a horrible husband, a terrible father, I-- I can’t do anythin’ right, I can’t even get over someone who’s--” he choked on his spit, a hand lifting to cover his mouth as he did.

“Husband?” Kinto said nervously, the voice forcing something to click in Teru, his breath noticeably hitching.

“We’re married. We have been for a few years.”

“Married? Dad, didn’t you-“

“Social cues, Kinto. Now’s not the right time to bring him up, okay?” Eleanor whispered, tapping his shoulder to remind him.

Of course, Jackie had to chide in, where he wasn’t needed. “This is stupid. Who the fuck even is that dude, anyway?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Sorry this is the only chapter for today. I finished it way late. I hope you enjoy it anyway!


	10. Java's Laboratory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally why is everything sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdsfghjkl

Teruteru and Hajime shared a seat, Java was lifting up Jackie, Kinto was on the bed, and Eleanor was just sitting in the chair, like a normal person.

 

With Teru on his lap, Hajime silently pet his hair, doing all in his power to keep him from breaking down, like he’d done earlier.

 

“Are you guys just gonna sit around and be fuckups all day?” Jackie murmured, Java lifting her hand to flick him.

 

“You need to work on social cues too. I’m not even a human and I’m better at communicating than you.” Java took a seat on the ground, with Jackie on her shoulders, hands resting on his thighs so he didn’t fall off.

 

“Okay, okay,” Teruteru shakily started, taking a deep breath, and turning himself around on the other boy’s lap, and calmly looking over the group.

 

“So...Java, Jackie, Kinto...you three don’t know about all of this, hah, this mess.” He gave a smile, that quickly turned into a sigh, as he started on the story of Nagito, and why he wasn’t here now.

 

_ Nagito and I had been together for awhile. Middle School sweethearts and childhood friends that sparked a relationship as soon as we could. As it happened, we were pretty much sewn at the hip- going everywhere together, and bringing each other happiness. I...I couldn’t replace him, and that’s...that’s more than obvious. Even if I have a husband, now. _

 

_ Anyway...Nagito had a terminal illness. His entire life. It was well treated, up until we’d gone into a huge debt. _

 

_ With Kinto on our hands, I had to take time off work-- meaning, Nagito was left alone at the job, for almost the entire day, while I was at home, taking care of Kinto. _

 

_ And it didn’t last long. Nagito quickly caught the kitchen of the place we worked at on fire, and we had to pay for the repairs-- out of pocket. Meaning, all the money we’d had for Nagito’s hospital bills, was burnt up, and then some. _

 

_ I was broken. I knew Nagito was screwed. I knew Nagito was going to die. But Nagito? He didn’t seem to care. He’d accepted he was going to die, and just wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. Every morning, he made himself get up early, to watch me as I woke up, and every night, he fell asleep early to cuddle with me for as long as he could. _

 

_ This was the daily routine. We had almost no money, living off of donations from friends and family, until finally… _

 

_ Hah…I hate this part. _

 

_ “I promise I’ll be there tomorrow, Teru! Don’t worry!” He’d told me the night before. _

 

_ September first, he said that. _

 

_ I didn’t know if it was Nagito’s bad luck, or the rare lack of luck of my own, but I hated it. I still do. _

 

_ September second, I woke up in cold arms. I tried to wake him up. But he never did. He never woke up. Even though he said he would be there, he wasn’t. _

 

_ I celebrated my birthday with the hospital workers in our home, taking away the lifeless body, with only the last few hours to myself. _

_ I-- _

 

He stopped the story, interrupted by his own choked up sobs, Hajime hugging him from behind.

 

“Just, everything’s been goin’ downhill, an’, an’, I--”

 

Jackie was almost stunned. He never knew any of this. Ever. He didn’t know about Nagito existing, the debt, any of it.

 

“I-- that’s bullshit! You’re just spitting bullshit so that everyone can pity Kinto! He’s your favorite anyway!” Jackie sputtered, Hajime looking over to him with a glare like a dagger. And Jackie didn’t say anymore.

 

He just stared. He stared at his two fathers, confused about why they were so upset over this, and stressed about how someone died almost twenty years ago, now…

 

Java looked to the two, and Eleanor was silent. Eleanor knew the story. All Java knew was that Nagito was dead.

 

And Kinto? He was the worse off. He couldn’t even process it, hardly.

 

“No..no, he...he wouldn’t...that’s...it’s…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoyoyo sorry I didn't post yesterday! I'm gonna start doing 1 every 1-2 days, and not having as much of a pattern as I used to.


	11. Kats and Kiyo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE FINALLY GET BACK TO AMAMI N KATSUO AND ALL THEM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamnit Katsuo stop talking about your dad’s ass

Across from each other, with two cups of English tea, Katsuo and Korekiyo sat.

“So, what’s up? Why you bein’ so distant? You got a pebble in your boot or somethin’?” Katsuo mused, chugging the tea like it was water on a hot day.

“Not in particular. It is relative to your father.” He fixed his hair, brushing it behind his ear, as the tea he sipped clipped through his zipper.

“Whaddabout him? Did he confess his undyin’ love for ya? It’s obvious he wants ya. Legit, he drools over ya whenever you come over. It’s sorta funny. Seein’ him chase his tail then trip whenever ‘yer in a ten foot vicinity of him.”

Korekiyo simply shook his head. “No. It is nothing revolving that. It is moreso the fact that I…reciprocate said feelings. He is persistent on the fact that he ‘isn’t that kinda guy’, although he had you, and he had you out of love as well.” He glanced to the side, with an uncomfortable grimace. His nails tapped the side of his teacup, and he swallowed, clearly nervous to be talking about such things.

“Yooo….yooo...dude. Listen up. I’ve been in relationships with stubborn dudes like my old man. You just gotta force it on ‘em. He ain’t gonna say no, ‘specially cuz he’s already got his cheeks spread for ya.”

“Cheeks...spread?”

“He wants your dick, Kiyo. Remember when you passed him that gin? Poor guy looked like his balls were gonna burst.”

Katsuo was annoyed. _He had to third wheel for his own damn dad_. “Finish up your tea, dude, we’re gonna head back home, ‘n you’re gonna fuck him ‘til he can’t walk.”

“Katsuo, wait-“ but Katsuo didn’t listen. He grabbed Korekiyo’s arm, shouted for Nagata to ‘come on,’ then lead them out to the small motorboat he rode on initially.


	12. I’ve run out of names. Azalea and Milo are bad boys.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonia is a dick

“Where on Earth is your sister?!” Sonia shouted to Milo, Milo replying with a timid squeak.

“W-well--!!”

“She went to see her bo~yfriend!~” Azalea giggled, pushing his cheeks forward. “Are you gonna spank her?~”

“Be quiet, Azalea!” Sonia’s face was bright red with rage, as she snapped at Milo.

But the rage quickly faded, as the footsteps of Tanaka could be heard, as well as the voice of Souda.

“Look at what I made, babe! Check it out!” He was holding a little robot out in front of Gundam, waving it around, showing it off, and getting pleased ‘mhm’s, and ‘that’s interesting’s from the taller.

“Miss Sonia! Miss Sonia!”

“You don’t have to call me that, Kazuichi…” She immediately turned soft, giving an anxious smile towards her two husbands. “We’re married.”

Milo was terrified, though he slipped away, grabbing Azalea’s arm and dragging him away.

“‘Zail, we gotta do something about this. Mom’s outta control.”

“We’re both, like, two or somethin’. What’s there to do?”

Milo bit his bottom lip, then looking to the side, before nodding. “Papa’s scared of ya, ‘n they both love him to bits. Next chance ya get, panic him, it’ll give us enough time to go to Hinata-sama’s house.”

A quick plan, yeah, but it was bound to work. Milo had terrible luck indeed, but Azalea’s cunningness would save their asses.

“Hey! Heeey! Get up get up get up!” Azalea shouted, after Milo gave him the signal to go, the reaction of Souda being a loud scream, then matched with an equally loud yelp from Tanaka and Sonia in empathy.

And so, Milo and Azalea ran, leaving out the front door, with fakes of themselves in the bed.

To the train, to the stop closest to the Hinata household, and to their home.

But no one was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUK IM SORRY I HAVENT POSTED IN AWHILE. SHIT JUst ain’t good man pensive discord emoji


	13. The Grim Adventures of Jackie and Kinto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hagakure and Teruteru are bros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consistent writing? Idk her.

“Dead?” He laughed a bit, a look similar to the one his father did on occasion. Mimicking it exactly. His hands lifted, and he gave an open-mouthed smile with a laugh. “That’s impossible! You’re playing a trick on me! I know it-- He...he said he’d make it-- _You_ , said he’d make it!”

He wasn’t accusing, no...it was more of a confused shout.

Eleanor gave a pained look to Kinto, putting an empathetic hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Kinto…”

The male looked down at his shirt eyes widening and growing worried at the one he wore. The red symbol on the front was from the same tee that his father wore. In fact…

His hand felt over it, grabbing the fabric, and gazing over the tatters and rips in it. This was his dad’s shirt. The exact same one.

His eyebrows furrowed, and he looked up.

“How...how long has he been…”

“Fifteen years,” Eleanor murmured, Kinto swallowing his words.

“I’m...I’m twenty, though…”

“Yeah,” Hajime then piped up, Teruteru shushing him, though it was replied to with a mumble of ‘well you aren’t going to be straight with him, obviously,’ with Teruteru’s response being only a whisper, ‘well, yeah, I’m not even straight in general--’ then being hit softly with a laugh. It was nice how quickly they calmed each other down, but…

“So, let me get this straight. Kinto’s dad died, five years later you two banged and made me, you guys didn’t tell me, in order to do fuck all--”

“We shouldn’t let Kuzuryuu-kun come over anymore…”

“If you keep me away from Mekki I’m going to slaughter you.”

“Please, just stop! This is hard enough for me already! I- I want to go home! Please....I want to go home...” His fingers dug deep into his brown locks, pulling at it as he sobbed, Java watching from the side with an empathetic expression

“I’m going to call Kuzuryuu-kun and Hiro,” murmured Teruteru, offering a soft kiss to Hajime’s hand, before walking out the door. “I think Carter can help Kinto some...maybe. Eleanor, Java, and Carter! Yeah--“ his throat burned from holding back tears, but it was okay. He gave a smile, pulling out his phone to talk, and dialing Yasuhiro’s number.

Even with the phone not on speaker, the taller male’s voice could be heard over the phone.

The story of Yasuhiro and Fuyuhiko is quite an odd one. You’d never expect them to get together. Really, it was a big opposites-attract thing, but it was surprising how Fuyuhiko could handle Hagakure. Not the other way around.

“Hey, Hiro? Can you come over?”

“...maybe another night. When Hajime’s not home?~”

It was common for the two to jokingly flirt, even though their irritable significant others disliked it. Jealousy and all that.

“Regardless, I need you to come over in about an hour. We’ll explain what’s happening then, okay?”

“Mhm, mhm, love ya too!~”

Kinto remembered everything. The silly Hagakure-Teruteru fake-flirting, Eleanor, Carter, and he’d begun to remember Java and Jackie as well.

The doctor’s diagnosis was Dementia. Kinto had it in the past(it runs in the family, anyway,) but it was never bad. The blunt force worsened it. He’d continually forget Java and Jackie, and especially Hajime.

With Yasuhiro and Fuyuhiko on their way, they decided to leave then, since all they would do for Kinto was painkillers and an extra daily drug.

But not before Kazuichi called Teruteru.

“Hey, heey, Buddy, is Eleanor there with you? She’s not at home, and...actually, Milo and Azalea ain’t either, but I figure they’re jus’ outside playin’ hide n’ seek better than Sonia when she sees ya comin’.” He snorted as his own joke, and waited for an answer.

“She’s not here. We’re at the hospital, Kinto’s dying. Please call me back later.” And he hung up, just at that.

Everyone in the group collectively scrunched their nose as they realized who’s family was on the phone, save from Java.

But that didn’t matter. Teruteru was quick to leave the cold hospital rooms, going outside, all the while pulling Hajime behind him like a dog on a leash. Eleanor and Java stayed near the back, Eleanor explaining the whole family issue she has to the robot, and the robot nodding in understanding. Jackie was the one in the far back, though, trailing far behind the rest of them, and dragging his feet as well. He was the one most affected by this new info.

Yasuhiro and Fuyuhiko’s family was surprisingly close to the Hinatas, everyone has a friend for themselves- Teruteru had Hagakure, Hajime had Fuyuhiko, Jackie had Umeko, the youngest, and Kinto had Carter, the eldest.

When Yasuhiro pulled up in the long driveway, though, he was shown a sight he didn’t expect.

“Hiro? What’s up?”

‘Why’s there two kids on your porch?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made sprites of Kinto and Java! Respectively,
> 
> https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/456569305312788492/497183146685759536/image0.jpg
> 
> https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/456569305312788492/497254896895262720/image0.png


	14. Still need more names. Katsuo needs 2 chill.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fucking love secretly-stupid Korekiyo. That's the best thing ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nagata is an ass

“Why did you need me to come along? I’m afraid classes start in a little under…” Nagata looked at their watch, then sighing in relief. “Three hours.”

 

“D’worry ‘bout it. It’s somethin’ big, ‘n I gotta get everyone outta the house.”

 

Korekiyo sat on the boat uncomfortably, shielding his face and teacup from the water, still trying to take sophisticated sips from the cup. “Must we do this now? I fear this was not a good idea--”

 

“Bull. I’m tired’a hearin’ dad go apeshit when you get close to him. Really, he does, I dunno if you can tell or not, but good lord he acts like a fujoshi when they find a new yaoi manga.”

 

“Oooh, so  _ that’s  _ why you two’re doing this? Huh, aren’t you with my dad, though?” Nagata faced their dad, cocking their head curiously.

 

“…Something like that…I would rather not get into detail currently, though…” Again, he tried to take a sip of the tea, it just spilling on his blazer instead, and him reacting with a groan of annoyance.

 

“Hold onto your shit,” Katsuo shouted with a grin, pulling the ropes of the sail and hopping off the edge of the boat, as a cool trick he had taught himself.

 

Nagata grabbed a hold of the mast, while Korekiyo...he stayed seated, and flew off the edge of the boat. It looked almost like a cat falling in water, the way he clawed at the edge of the vehicle to stay above water.

 

“I toldja to hold on, dude,” The green-haired boy giggled, using the rope to pull himself back up, then walk around to Korekiyo. Korekiyo scowled beneath his mask, the only thing that was able to be seen being his eyes.

 

But nonetheless, Katsuo helped pull his friend’s father up off the edge of the boat, surprisingly strong enough to lift the tall man, but...that’s not the point.

 

“Haha, you still forget how strong the boats are!” Nagata teased, poking their father’s back with a grin.

 

“Please...be quiet.” And so, Katsuo lead the two into the house, shouting out a loud,  _ ‘Daaad, I’m home, c’mere, I brought a friend!’ _

 

....Amami immediately figured out who that friend was.

 

“And he’s gonna make a bit of a mess too. He fell in the water again!~”

 

“Do not mock me, Katsuo,” said Korekiyo, sneering at the boy, which lead to Amami immediately rushing outside of his room with an apology.

 

“Kiyo, ah, I’m sorry for my son, he--”

 

“No, do not be, it is okay.”

 

Already, two sentences in, Amami was smiling and laughing, falling victim to a stereotypical pretty-boy crush. No, he’d already fallen victim to it.

 

Hey, it wasn’t his fault Korekiyo was so goddamn pretty, now was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More character designs? More character designs!
> 
> This is Nagata's!
> 
> https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/497194007764664350/499304866787885068/image0.jpg


	15. Halloween part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween special! These are always fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New kids? New kids.

“Happy halloween!” A kid, in their mid-teens, shouted, as soon as they saw Kinto. “Hey, buddy, what’s good? It’s halloween today, so our dads let us stay home from school. Not that we go anyway...” Since one of their two fathers was part of the Yakuza, they were able to stay home anytime they wanted to. Even if there wasn’t a reason. Why, you may ask? With Fuyuhiko’s sources all around the world, he knew people that could hack in and change their grades and do the work for them. It was a nice system. A bit of extra work, but nothing he couldn’t handle.

“Jackie!!~” A much younger girl cried, running over to him, and pulling him into a hug. “Cattie and I missed you…!” She was much younger than her older sibling, no older than 8.

“Umiiii!!~” He cried in response, hugging her with a smile. They were both already in full costume for halloween, dressed up as...quite a humorous pair. Carter, who was the older of the two, wore a robot costume, while Umeko, the younger, wore a chef’s uniform. And when their parents exited the house they invited themselves into, it was even better.

Hajime shot a glare at the teen, irritated that he’d made the little girl wear a costume that mocked his husband, but Teruteru thought it was hilarious-- Umeko was tall for her age, and Teruteru, still, had grown none since he was in his teens. So he was well into his 30’s, at 4’5. And Umeko, well, she was 4’4, so, between each other, they always made jokes about how they were the same height.

But the calm atmosphere wouldn’t last for long, as soon, Yasuhiro made his way out of the house that he didn’t own, with Fuyuhiko tagging along behind him. On his shoulders were Azalea and Milo, who he’d practically already adopted, at this point. Azalea was pulling on his curls of hair to throw him off, while Milo was gripped on for an entirely different reason-- fear that he’d fall off. “Yo--”

Nope, Fuyuhiko interrupted. “Hajime, can you tell us who these kids are? Yasuhiro won’t let them go, and the pink one won’t let the nice one talk.”

“Hey, my hair’s not pink, dummy, it’s purple.”

“Look asshat, I’m a fucking mafia member, not an artist. Shut your mouth.”

He shut his mouth. Was this the ‘Fuyuhiko’ kid he heard his mom talking about a lot? Well, wouldn’t hurt to ask. “Are you from the Kuzuryuu line?”

“Not anymore, I ain’t. Now will you leave me alone?” between clenched teeth, he spoke, trying not to lose his temper.

“Hey, hey, you are! You got the--” No one noticed Java, nor Eleanor exit the car, but they had, the latter standing on her tiptoes to grab Azalea off of the tall man’s shoulder.

“Mind your business, Azalea. Don’t piss him off unless he did something wrong to you.” Fuyuhiko had already walked down the stairs, striking friendly conversation with Hajime, Teruteru soon butting in with something involving how muscular the blond had gotten.

“Eh, that’s fair. Hey, hey, let’s go trick or treating!” Azalea insisted, Yasuhiro turning around at the mention of it, with an equally interested Milo now riding on his shoulders.

“Me and Fuyu were planning on going to a party tonight, but I think trick or treating would be more fun. We can cancel at anytime, no one’ll say jack.” It was true-- the family was a mafia family, no one would talk down.

Milo was holding onto the top of the adults head with a smile, before Kinto cheerfully pushed by. He knew it was halloween. “I’m going to invite Amami-sama and Katsuo-kun! Should Gokuhara-senpai come too?”

“Invite who you want--” Hajime begun, but Teruteru cheerily interrupted with, “Absolutely! I can make refreshments for everyone. Java, invite over your family too! Fuyuhiko, can you call up Pekoyama and invite her? Ah, I’m too excited for this, aren’t I?” He laughed nervously as he finished speaking, Hajime looking down at him with a smile. A very lovestruck one, at that.

“Let’s invite everyone. You and Hiyoko haven’t hung out in forever, and you were such good friends with her when we were younger,” Hajime insisted, Teruteru grinning excitedly.

“Absolutely!” He grabbed his husbands hand, pulling him up the stairs for the front door, him already knowing what the plan was. They were going to go inside and invite a bunch of people they knew, probably make a bunch of appetizers together, accidentally fuck them all up, but everyone brushes it off because they were probably too busy giving each other love and affection to notice.

Fuyuhiko’s phone begun to ring. When he flipped it open, it was none other than his ‘good friend’, Souda asking where Eleanor, Azalea, and Milo were, him saying to ‘fuck off,’ and shutting it again.

Carter, as well as Eleanor and Kinto, who were hand-in-hand, ran over to the short male, immediately insisting they put up the halloween decorations in the shed, him grunting in dismay before his husband came over, an arm slinging across his shoulders. Man, everyone was married, huh?

“C’mon, Fuyu, don’t be a party pooper, we’ll have fun. ‘Meko and Jackie can hang out off to the side, maybe we can find somewhere to go, alone, how’s that sound?” Milo was still hung onto the taller’s shouders, hands grappling his hair as if it was handlebars.

Fuyuhiko’s face flared up red, and he punched Hagakure in the arm, while Carter turned around and fake-vomited. “Jesus christ, shut up--!” They whined, pulling their friends off to the side, Java buzzing behind calmly. If any of the quintet were to look behind them now, they’d see Fuyuhiko embarrassedly nodding towards Hagakure, who’d set Milo down to go do his thing.

The two went off on their own embark, while the group discussed Halloween plans.

“Believe it or not, dad’s really weak when it comes from scary things, and it’s clear to tell which one I’m talking about. Let’s take advantage of that,” Kinto begun, Java nodding I’m thrilled approval.

“Yeah, yeah!” She exclaimed, clapping with a thrilled grin. “We hafta scare the soul outta him!”

“He’s just gonna hold onto Hajime, though,” Eleanor piped up, Kinto shaking his head.

But then Carter butted in. “Everyone’s gotta pussy in their family-- I’ve got weed dad, Kint’s got Teru, Ellie’s got Ka- Kazeechee? Kazoochi? What was it? Eh, who cares. Java, both of your parents are scared of a buncha things, right?”

Java nodded, finally letting off of her built-in boosters, then turning her head when she noticed a set of lights in the driveway.


	16. I'm not creative anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fwoom

“Javaaaaaaaaaaa!~” A pipish, male voice chimed from far away, a certain gremlin being the source of it. “Oh! Fuyuhiko and Hiro are here too? That’s great!”

The purple-haired boy leaped down the driveway, having had some form of a piggyback ride from his boyfriend. Kiibo, the boyfriend, was huffing from exhaustion, followed behind slowly, beads of sweat dripping down his face.

“We are back from maintenance!” Kiibo stated, hands on his hips, while Java groaned miserably. “The only issue there was was the liquid buildup inside of me!”

“Yeah, I caused it!~” Kokichi chimed, Kiibo giving him a disapproving look.

“That is untrue! It is caused by the condensation inside of me, from the heated battery.”

“Yeah, yeah-- aaaaaaaaanywho,” the short male crossed his arms, standing tall. “I need to talk to boss baby about something. Hey, Kii-babe, let’s go!”

“Hey! You stop that--” Kokichi had long since grabbed the robot’s arm, tugging him away, and towards where the gangster and his significant other were going. Chances were, they were going off to have a foursome. Or talk about super secret mafia things. Who knows!

Java sighed, and Eleanor patted her back understandingly.

“Hey, so, I’ve got an idea. Java can fly, so we can do something with that. Kinto can get on my shoulders--” Carter begun, before Kinto interrupted.

“I’m not going to get on your shoulders! I’ll fall!”

“Fine, get on Eleanor’s! You two’ll fall down, though.” They mumbled irritably, before the robot tapped their shoulder.

“I could carry you three on my back. We can have a sheet over us all, and we could scare them all. Give ‘em the spooking of a lifetime!”

“Hell yeah!” Carter shouted, mounting the robot’s back, said robot grabbing the two kids by their arms, and then shooting into the air.

 

“...Hey, where’re they going without us…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT SDKGBDFDSMRHANFBMFDNSJFBH I M CRYING YALL DIDNT DESERVE TO WAIT ALSO IM SO SORRY ITS SO SHORT


	17. Hey, sorry

I'm sure that the people who are reading this are upset that it's now discontinued. However...if you did like what I wrote of it, then you're going to love the alternative idea I'm currently working on!

 

What is it, you may ask? Well, it's my own fan killing game, involving the kids from this! There'll be SO much more insight on their home lives in the game, more than just this little bit here. It's going to be ages until it's fully out, though.

However, it will be out, eventually, and I'm sure of it. So keep an eye out, for DanganRonpa: Fabrication Of The Mind


	18. game updates

So, even though the story itself is discontinued, the stories inside I'm keeping to put in the game! And game being mentioned, there is an official discord server for it, which I will link at the bottom of this!

 

Updates: More babes! More kids! More development! In case you don't have discord, I'll post major updates here. The teaser trailer will be out February 7th, 2019, and I'll be sure to link it!

 

New kids that weren't featured in the fanfiction:  
  
Z[akiko Owari], a Sonia and Akane lovechild, who is Milo's (who is named Miles in the game) brother, and is the ultimate internet cryptid!

Rin Naegi, a Kyoko and Makoto lovechild, who is the ultimate glassmith!

Daisuke Owada, an Ishimaru and Mondo lovechild, who is the ultimate festival coordinator!

Nitta "Yanagimuichi-Nii" Ogami, a Sakura and Aoi lovechild, who is the ultimate charm collector!

Sophia Hanamura, a Teruteru and Hajime lovechild, who is Kinto and Jackie's sister, and is the ultimate dream documenter!

Ferr Elise, an Imposter (Who is named Shun Kurobane in this) and Ryota lovechild, who is the ultimate drama club member!

Olivia Saihara-Momota, a Shuichi and Kaito lovechild, who is the ultimate treasure hunter!

Theodore Nekomaru, a Souda and Nidai lovechild, who is the ultimate survivalist!

China Nanami, a Chiaki and Mikan lovechild, who is the ultimate LARPer!

Chastity Kurobane, an Imposter and Ibuki lovechild, who is the ultimate necromancer!

Haruka Kuwata, a Makoto and Leon lovechild, who is the ultimate poet!

And last but not least, Syzygy Saionji-Mioda, an Ibuki and Hiyoko lovechild, who is the ultimate choreographer!

 

If you're interested in following up the game, or possibly even helping, please join the server! Thank you!

 

https://discord.gg/zNrEwb


End file.
